Monday, February 28, 2005

I Love You!!!...Maybe…Kinda…Well it Depends on…

Love… Sometimes it seems like just another four letter word or a slap in the face more then a life saving, world changing idea. It is such an over used word now days. Just in case you forget to tell someone all year, there is a holiday to remind you. I’ve seen people that say they love each other act like people that hate each other. I’ve seen people use each other in the name of love. I even know people that confuse the site of a beautiful person with love. So what is love?...

I am just 23 years old; I am no expert on what love is or how to love. I am maybe writing this more for input and reflection then anything else. I realize most people like the idea of love more then the act of love. It is a glorious and popular idea, just look how many streamlined love stories are found in chick flicks. Believe me people don't watch these movies for their plotlines. People watch these movies for how they make you feel. They are like emotional crack. The idea of love is highly addictive but an act of love seems rare.

Love is a funny thing, it is not fickle like approval, it is not based on you. It is ultimately based on the lover not the loved. If the lover truly loves you unconditionally, if they are hopelessly in love with you, it is like that song, “you can do no wrong”.

Real love is to love someone whether they love you or not. It is to love them the way they always needed to be loved. Real love sets aside the idea that you have rights in a relationship. No wonder it is so rare to see real love. I think everyone likes the idea of sacrifice a whole lot more then the act.

What can fill your life with purpose and life one week; can leave you feeling empty and lifeless the next. Why is that? Have we become users rather then lovers? Have we traded a passion filled, unselfish action for an idea?

22 comments:

moofruot said...

[ramble]
Love means you are forever united with someone; love doesn't end. From my limited experience with this crazy feeling, I can say there are different levels and kinds of love: a true friend represents the epitome of love for me. My brothers, my mom, and my dad are true friends; I am also blessed with one or two other people outside of family who I would call my best friends. (I'm pretty damn lucky and I know it).

I think the kind of love sensationalized on TV/Movies/Valentine's day is romantic love - something that is ephemeral. People like to think that romantic heat - what some people mistakenly call "passion" (they're probably thinking of lust IMO) - will last forever, but really, it doesn't last, and when it goes away, people freak out and break up because they think there's no "love" left. Well, if there was no love to begin with, no, there is no actual love left. But if the relationship was built on something true, like friendship, then I like to think that while the lovey-dovey romance stage may dissipate over time, the passion does not.

"Sacrifice" isn't something I'd equate with love. I wouldn't equate "completion" with love either. Companionship, yes, because in the end, when the romance isn't as fiery, companionship is all that's left, and if you didn't start out with it, you will end up miserable - with someone you don't even like, let alone love.

I dunno.. I'm 20 years old, and I'm no expert on love, but I know I've felt it and I know people who I couldn't imagine not being in my life. And I wouldn't even be able to tell you why, or what it is about them that makes me feel that way, but the closest term we humans have for it is some stupid four-letter word that doesn't and will never do it justice. I abide by the "actions speak louder than words" manifesto anyway...
[/ramble]

Chicka said...

I love that knife set! Where can I get one?

Mags said...

Hell yeah, me too, I am loving that knife holder thingy!

Aimee said...

Love is a choice whether it's romantic, platonic, or otherwise non-specified. If i'm romantically in love with someone and they are a total putz. I could choose to let it destroy the relationship, or i could forgive him and mend our relationship. The same goes for friendships and other relationships that cannot be named. Love is unselfish, but humans aren't. Love is kind, but humans aren't. To be unselfish or kind one must try, make an effort to smile at someone or to give up a seat on the bus. These are all acts of love, but in lesser degrees. To sound completely cheesey... Love is the umbrella that covers all other emotion. It's the banner, it's the flag ship, it's what drives us to be angry or to be completely relaxed. It's what causes us to fight or allow ourselves to be hurt. Love is a multitude of things that are undefined but are continuously searched for.

LiVEwiRe said...

Interesting post. Great concept, good plot, and it has a beat you can dance to. Now personally, I am in the throes of disliking everything, so I can't really identify. The knives are quite intriguing. If have several sets like that. Well, not actually like that, but similar - they are custom sets. Some of my knives are in a picture frame, some are in the wall, some are... oh, wait... that's not what you mean, is it?

A Bronx Tale said...

well said there...i shall quote you when i post on me blog...

Anonymous said...

I agree....most people, at least that I know, love on conditions, in a selfish type of way. They are feelings, not a choice. They only love when the time is right, when its good for them. They love or should I say"lust" based on the conditions. When you truly love someone, it would never matter if they became what you wanted them to be or not. You would love em' the just the way they are....and that my friend is a hard thing to do....

A Bronx Tale said...

yeah i agree with anyon...

i also agree that at times, i'm not sure why, but i believe there is no such thing as love and only LUST.

maybe it comes from hurt and pain or a broken heart but who knows...

but people must learn to love at all times not when its right for them etc...

cheers

The Cure said...

The kitchen knives can be found Here.

btezra said...

~thnx for the link to the knives, I have an ex g/f that they are perfect for, although the knives would have to enter from the back to be just right for her....hehehe~

The Cure said...

I'm sure you could modify it if you think it is totally necessary.

Danny said...

Wow, quite insightful, on the behalf of both the author and all those who commented. I read a book once (well Ive read quite a few books) by Mitch Albom entitled, "Tuesday's With Morrie." In it, Morrie the elderly professor dying of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) tells Mitch the student that, "Love is when you care about someone else's situation more than your own." I think that pretty much sums it up. Love is telling someone how important they are to you, making sure they know you'll forever be there for them, and going out of your way anytime they need something ... all without ever EXPECTING anything back. Thats the mistake that far too many make. They Love to be Loved, or Love on contingency, when it is convienient for them and when they can recieve something back in return.

Ironically, I wrote an article on the biological aspects of Love entitled "This Thing Called Love," in which I likened it to an addiction as well. You can find it on my blog:

www.dannylewkowicz.blogspot.com

Let me know your thoughts

-D

A. R. said...

I made a commitment when I married my wife. I said "To Have and to Hold, For Better or for Worse, For Richer, or for Poorer, In Sickness and in Health, Forsaking All Others, To Love and to Cherish, Till Death Do Us Part." That, is, in part what love is about.

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away all my possessions, and if I become a martyr, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

"AG" said...

Whoa...hold on...do you really mean Real love sets aside the idea that you have rights in a relationship? Two people who love each other absolutely must have rights in a relationship and insist on them, like, to be treated with respect, not abuse one another...without self love and self respect there is no love...

Janet said...

"What can fill your life with purpose and life one week?"

That's an interesting question. I for one, think love is such a complicated thing to define. I once heard a great quote about love though. "Falling in love is just that, falling. You don't have much control over it."

BTW, thanks for the detailed recommendation on this site. I'll be back!:)

N said...

I hate it when people use the word 'love' just like any other word. Like once I was watching MTV Dismissed and my friend comes along during the time of the dismissal; and when the guy dismissed one of the girls she was like "He doesn't love her anymore?!". So I exploded "DUDE! IT WAS ONE BLOODY DATE! THERE'S NO LOVE HERE!!!" (I had to say something!)


Personally though, I think the only people you can love unconditionally are your parents and siblings.


http://pwincessdiaries.blogspot.com

George said...

Inevitably this always catches up with you and usually at the worst possible time House . House

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