Thursday, February 24, 2005

Imagine If Lawyers Knew About This…

Every year around the Super Bowl, some friends and I get together and play flag football. We use the words ‘Flag Football’ in the loosest way possible. Last year I broke my leg and another friend broke his collarbone. Those where the bigger injuries, there were a few minor ones as well. This year was a little different, I rolled my ankle real bad, two people needed stitches on their face, one person separated some ribs, and my roommate broke his wrist. This is Flag Football mind you, imagine if we had played tackle?

Despite the apparent risks involved in the game my friends continue to show up for the three hour beating every other week (We always have a healing week in between). Some of you will say this is stupidity, and your probably right. However, I know men that have as much haircare products as most women, I know men that get pedicures, I know men that don’t know how to put oil in their own car. Is it possible that maybe men are forgeting what it means to be a man? I think men need the chance to go out and act like men. Play some football and run into each other. Get a little beat up, go climb a mountain, God forbid… beat a guy up that is mistreating a lady. We need to do something to remind ourselves of who and what we are. It may be bad for your health to be a man, your wife may not understand why you care if you can throw a snowball farther then all the other guys, Lawyers may even try to sue you if you accidentally break somebody’s leg, but does that mean you should stop being a man? Once again, never in my life have I heard of someone on their deathbed bragging about never breaking a bone or taking a risk.

I am not encouraging violence, I am encouraging life, I am telling you to take risks and be courageous. You don't have to play football to be a man, the point is to not forget you are a man. Don’t accept what the world is giving you, it's boring… and you know it.


moofruot said...

Yea this wave of "metrosexual" guys turns me off. What's happening is the beauty companies are trying to mass produce men the way they've mass produced women for a century. Hey, they figure, they've been raping 50% of the population; why not try for the other 50% too? I love these guys who buy into it - who actually think it matters whether they have that Dep-gelled straight-out-of-bed but took-me-one-hour-to-do look, or whether they have a genuine out-of-bed look from complete lack of effort... lol...

It's like women who buy makeup in neutral tones so they look "natural". Like... why?

The worst part of this movement to make men as large consumers as women is that normal men, who like to do normal guy stuff, are seen as narrow minded or uncultured or some such shit. I dunno.. if a guy likes taking over an hour in the morning to do his hair, by all means go ahead - women like men who can take care of themselves for sure. But when he's doing it 'cos he's been brainwashed and feels inadequate, it just makes me sad, 'cos I know how it feels to feel inadequate when up against this stupid societal image.

BTW, a bunch of guys, getting all dirty and bruised, playing football? Hot. :P You should sell that to Sports Illustrated or something.

Jeff Stilwell said...

I like it. Great post. I get hurt all the time. My parents and mother-in-law keep telling me to act my age and stop doing stupid things. Jumping off a 60 ft cliff into a swimming hole, breaking my leg playing paintball, wrecking my dirt bike. I tell them I'm just living life. Thanks for the post

Anonymous said...

Sorry I get facials and manicures. I was a scholarship player at Southern Cal football and baseball. I climbed the nose of El Capitan in Yosemite, I've surfed most of my life.
A bunch of obviously out of shape guys running into each other and hurting themselves sounds really gay to me.
There are real things to do. If your life is being a masochist, who cares but you.

The Cure said...

Once again another anonymous commentator that completely misses the point of the post. It's ok though, you're obviously a jock and they aren't known for being the smartest guys in the world (ok, that was a cheep shot). The point is not to hurt yourself; the point is to be a man.
I am sure this is a foreign concept for you but try to get the point.
Next time you climb El Cap try the Zodiac instead of the easiest route. I climb too...I've also surfed most my life and I fail to see how this is supposed to impress anyone. As for football...are you second or third string? If your first, congrats on the national title. I was cheering for you guys the whole time.
In the future, when you grow up, if you don't make the NFL (chances are slim) refer back to this article when you are disillusioned and working a lame desk job. In all seriousness the point is to live life to the fullest. Why a guy would get facials and manicures I’ll never understand.

Aimee said...

You know, i was sitting in my sociology class today wondering about this exact topic.(We were talking about the typical gender role stuff, and it made me wonder what happened to them.)Personally, i see nothing wrong with the traditional roles as long as each person sees the other as an equal. I like the idea of my boyfriend/husband taking care of me and any children we have. I'm all for guys being guys, whomever they are personality wise. God made men and women different for a reason, and why should we blur the lines? (a small tangent, please bear with me) For instance, in psychology we're required to observe children at various stages of growth. Whether or not the children are raised as "boys" or "girls", each child identifies with their own innate gender. We are who we are, and i wonder if humanity will ever just accept that God gave us tendencies that come with our genders.

Also, i don't understand why guys get facials either.

Cure, do you mind if i add you to my blog links list?

"AG" said...

I dislike the whole metrosexual thing, too.

On the flip side a gal can be a "real woman" even if she's tough, doesn't get pedicures, and wears very little makeup.

The Cure said...

Aimee, add away...I agree with what you said, I think guys are scared to lead nowadays. The thing is leading doesn't mean you are a dictator, it means you are a servant to the people that follow you.
Ammo gal, I agree, one of my best friends doesn't wear hardly any makeup and is defiantly tough and defiantly a girl and my big sister is in Special Ops in the air force on a combat rescue team. However, when you see her with her husband she is defiantly a Girl.

A. R. said...

Men in our society are being pushed towards being harmless. Who wants a dangerous, violent man running loose in society? The problem comes when we need a violent, adventurous, not-afraid-to-take-one-for-the-team kind of guy. I think it's truly a sick tragedy that we are forcing little boys to "be nice" and to not get hurt. Right, because "nice," little boys fought the Revolutionary War and no one got hurt pulling bodies out of the WTC rubble. "Mama's boy" used to be a derogatory term.

Sure there are perversions of true manhood: take a look at any number of mass-murderers. However, you shouldn't force all men to "be nice" just because a few nut jobs flew off the handle. In order to have the good, you have to take the bad along with it. There's a wonderful parable in the book of Matthew chapter 13. It basically says that cutting down the weeds in a field of wheat will damage too much of the wheat. I think that's rather appropriate here...

Inksmith said...

I thought your post was very interesting. I'm not outraged or anything but I have a few questions for you.

Do you also believe that to be a real woman you have to stay home with the kids and cook dinner?
If 'no' then how do you justify holding me to the 'good ol boy' standards of manhood, while holding women to the progressive ones created by the same people who expanded the violent, emotionally-detatched, and sport-loving definition of 'man' to include hair care products?

Why are you so sure that your definition of a man is the right one?
or.. Why is Hercules more of a man than DiVinchi?

If 'real men' ever existed I can tell you three things about them:

1)Real Men don't dance

2)Real Men don't cry

3)Real Men would never write a blog

The Cure said...

Inksmith, Thanks for the comments. I would like to point out I have never claimed to be a fan of the 'Good ole boy' standard of manhood. I also have never claimed that a real man is an emotionally detached, sport loving and violent. In fact, I never defined a real man... I said, "You don't have to play football to be a man, the point is to not forget you are a man." I don't know exactly what the definition of a man is; I'm 23, that is what I am trying to figure out.
I know a few things though,
A man is a protector, he is a provider, he is a servant, he is passionate, he is a lover and he needs a mission bigger then himself to really feel alive.
Does that mean Hercules is more of a man then Da Vinci... No... It probably means the opposite.
I do write a blog, I do cry, and I wish that I could dance. Once again, I am not encouraging violence, I am encouraging life, I am telling you to take risks and be courageous.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Cure....I read and re-read your post. You are a man, you have good insight on the way our society is tearing down what it means to be a man. When I first read your comments, I wasn't angry, I think I just didn't understand where you were going with it all...I want to be a real man, and I want to be the man God intended me too be. So keep doing what you are doing and inspiring people who look further then the letters of the words that you write. I'm sorry "Klink"....hope you forgive me.

Kim said...

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, your words speak the truth.

Aimee said...

I agree with your description that was posted in your comment, Cure. And to add fuel to this fire, that's what women want in a man too. It's really too bad that we can be honest with ourselves and be true to our innate desires and tendencies.

blah said...

My sis is a 4th degree black belt and takes about three different types of martial arts. She has guys (and girls) drooling over her. She rarely wears makeup, and has her own dark style.She wants a career, but will happily walk away if the man is the breadwinner and raise kids if they both want kids. She is looking for a male counterpart. Who cares who leads she says? Just keep up with me. Yah, and she is sooooo girly around her b/f.
If you cant revel in what makes you different, why bother. So I cant spit as far as a guy, but that is a guy thing...i dont expect them to wear heels...well...unless they are drunk and passed out and i am taking blackmail pics :P

The Cure said...

Your sister sounds like my big sister. She is in Air Force Special Ops. She is crew chief or something on a combat rescue helicopter. She shoots the really big gun out of the side of helicopters when they are baling out pinned Marines. She also takes several forms of martial arts. I have seen her beat up guys that weigh three times her weight. But when she gets around her husband she is instantly a girlie girl.