The Fastest Sub Maker in the Known World - A Tribute to Hurricane Sally

Hurricane Sally can make a sub sandwich faster then you can say pickles, mayonnaise, and hold the mustard. I don’t know how this is possible since she has to actually hear what you want, to make the sandwich. Yes, she defiantly has skills… that is, if making a disaster of a sandwich faster than anyone is a skill. I always cringe when I get her. Like the time I ordered a BLT and had no B, that is bacon, or the time I ordered a toasted sub and she forgot it in the toaster. Everyone else cuts the bread, but no, Sally rips the bread. If you’re on a diet don’t worry, if you ask for mayo you get a dot. If you ask for extra mayo you get two dots and a rushed dirty look. She is really stingy with the olives… she gives you 7, but then when she is wrapping the sub 4 always fall out. Even wrapping doesn’t quite work out. Have you ever noticed that no matter how you unwrap a sub it always ends up upside-down? Maybe it’s just Sally. The amazing thing about Sally is she has one speed and one speed only Too FAST! Even if there is nobody in line she is buzzing. I know I am complaining but it is hard when you unwrap your sub sandwich and it resembles scrambled eggs more than a sandwich. I know what you're thinking… why don’t I complain to the manager. I honestly don’t have the heart. See Sally is probably 50 years old, on caffeine pills and 6 shots of Starbucks blast off blend. I heard a rumor she just got her Pacemaker replaced… I’m not joking, maybe they should turn that thing down…

My Mission Statement says the definition of insanity is to continue to do the same thing expecting different results. I have accepted Sally is not going to change and I thought to avoid insanity I would write a tribute to a truly fast sandwich maker. So this is to you Sally… May your days be filled with speediness and may you get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Cheers.