Monday, March 21, 2005

Can You Hate Failure Without Hating Life?

Have you ever noticed that the word “Happily” seems to proceed things that are not always happy. “Happily ever after”, “Happily married” or “Happily single”. Marriage may be great, but I don’t think it is a happily ever after walk in the park. That’s just a guess, all you married people can let me know if I am right. It seems to me that every good thing takes lots of work. It’s the people that are pressing forward and failing and get up and trying again that seem to actually be accomplishing something. On one hand you can call them the biggest failures in the world, because they have probably failed more then anybody else… but, that is because they have also tried more then anybody else. You could actually argue that the biggest failures in the world are the people that actually change the world.

I really don’t like to fail… especially publicly. But I am starting to realize that my fear of failure is crippling my ability to succeed. You have to risk failure to grow… a lot of times the growth comes from working through failure. It's like I said earlier, It's amazing how everything worth doing right seems so hard. But I think the reason it turns out to be right has something to do with what you learn while it is hard.

I am realizing I need to embrace the posabillity of failure and continue to press on to do and be what I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be a man of courage, I am finding courage is as much about fighting and winning battels as it is about being willing to fail. You can loose a fight and still die with Honor… it's only when you stop you actually loose.

To embracing Life I have realized I must also embrace failure.

20 comments:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Don't put too much stock into success. Consider that most successful people wind up disillusioned.

"Is this all there is?" "Is this what I really wanted?"

Do what I've learned to do: embrace your mediocrity. You'll be happier.

that girl said...

profound and oh so true... and yet easier said than done

damn fear of failure

ruth said...

If you concentrate on being rational instead of being right at all costs you can't go wrong, psychologically. I know where you are coming from though. Also I don't think a relationship should be 'work'. If you are *really* compatible it should be easy. Just my 2c.

The Cure said...

Ruth,

I am not agreeing or disagreeing with the relationships shouldn't be work comment...

see I am 23 and not married...

Are you married and if so are you just "compatible". If you are... How did you find eachother...

Aimee said...

I don't agree with you Ruth. A good relationship is work, love is work, life is work. Without work you cannot get anywhere. You may love your job, but aren't there days when you dread it? It doesn't change the fact that 95% of the time it's great, but it's that last 5% that really gets to be difficult.

Marriage and love is a great deal of work as is any relationship. Most of the time it's great... but it's that last 5% that can really be hard to pull off.

"AG" said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
"AG" said...

Anything worthwhile is hard work. The key is to be happy with hard work. Modern society equares comfort with happiness. It's a lie.

I never embrace mediocrity, but I accept outcomes because I can't change them; I am only responsible for my actions.

I define success as living true to my principles. It's an inside job.

"AG" said...

Sorry about the deleted comment and typos; equares = equates.

I fail at typing well.

scribe called steff said...

Fear of failure kicks most of our asses. I've been kind of coasting for a number of years, but part of that's to do with just never knowing what I really want.

Desire's a tricky thing. When you know what you want, that almost supercedes the need for motivation, but when you don't really know, that confusion clouds everything, and next thing you know, you're not following the direction you should be going in.

I wonder where these people with the clearly delineated identities get all the clarity. It's a funny little world we live in. We all think we're on even footing, but really... Sometimes we're worlds apart.

A. R. said...

In my experience, relationships are never easy. There are very, very few people on this planet that are "really" compatible. ruth, if you have found that someone, congratulations! I'm happy for you.

I love my wife dearly, I'm not always happy with her nor is she always happy with me. But our conflicts build intimacy (if handled correctly). It not only helps to understand each other but it also helps us grow together.

Failure is an opportunity for me to learn. If I trip and fall because my shoelaces are untied, I learn to tie my shoelaces so that doesn't happen again. If I get a failing grade on a paper in school, I analyze my mistakes and determine what I need to do to not make those mistakes again. The hard work comes in figuring out what you did wrong. As the saying goes "Those who do not learn from history are bound to repeat it."

Raven the Pagan said...

LMAO The new levels of stupidity that some people show never fails to amaze me. I bet by his next robbery he'll attach a string from the but of the pistol to his wrist. Or maybe he should just cut his criminal career short. Looks like it would be heathier for him.

Sara said...

I agree with lightning bug's butt whole heartedly. I get a lot of crap for thinking like that but oh well, there's always someone who wants to criticize your way of thinking because it isn't the same as theirs. I also agree that relationships are hard work, not just marriages but friendships and family relationships as well. But there is a line you have to draw when it becomes nothing but hard work with no pay off. I guess it's all in what an individual considers *work* and where you're personal *line* is.

N said...

Right on Cure. It's important to admit your mistakes and failures to yourself so you can succeed. But don't get too caught up in success because, like bug said, you might become disullioned (like Howard Hughes!).

ManNMotion said...

Man you got that so right, anything worth having IS a lot of work. Every married person I know (and most of the divorced ones) will back that up. Great blog! Thanks for stopping by.

Kim said...

That video clip made me laugh out loud.

Good luck figuring out your heart. Don't let fear stop you from living! Go for it! You can always pick yourself up and start over, a little wiser and with a new perspective...

DB said...

It's important to remember that if we do not try we cannot fail... but we also cannot succeed. People can spend their lives trying to be "safe" and accomplishing nothing. It's when we keep trying despite our failures that we learn how to succeed.

Throughout history great advances were made by those who refused to accept failure as a reason to stop trying.

Thank you for visiting my blog earlier :)

DB
http://enjoy.bfpmedia.com

Anonymous said...

Yes I have heard that people who are successful experienced failure in the past. There are also people who fail, learn as much as they can from their failures to eventually succeed, and guess what? They still fail, and I know what I am talking about because I am one of them!!! You have no idea how frustrating it is. I have heard all of the peptalks about forgetting the past and not giving up, and having the belief that the past does not equal the future, the power of positive thinking and all the rest of that drivel! It does not wash! I keep waging an uphill battle against that SOB known as failure and I am still losing! As a result, life often sucks. I would not wish on anyone the hell I am going through.

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victor said...

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___________________
Richard
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victor said...

thanks for this great full link,
thanks


___________________
Richard
More Movies More Fun & Entertainment